Sunday, July 11, 2010

Mortifying Moments with Mr. Manners

It's been a long-known fact that manners are not a strength of Nugget's.  He barks obnoxiously, jumps wildly, and wedges himself between any two people who are not paying him the attention he thinks he deserves.  To say that Nugget is not fit to attend afternoon tea with the Queen would be an understatement.  Don't get me wrong, he is actually a very well-behaved dog.  He knows far more than just basic commands and for the most part, he listens... when it suits him.  Probably one of Nugget's more questionable "talents" is his ability to belch with such gusto, I can really only compare it to what I would imagine might come out of a 250lb linebacker - though I don't know any, so to date, I've been unable to verify.  While most of these gassy outbursts are fairly predictable, occurring after each meal and most large gulps of water, occasionally he'll force one out at a most inopportune moment - like when I'm down on the floor in his face.  In case you've not been previously made aware, the gas produced from either end by a dog who regularly feasts on any kibble made specifically for dogs is nothing short of noxious. 

Now my Nugget is an exceptionally lovable guy.  He elicits from most strangers compliments on his handsome stature, beautiful fur, sweet face and captivating eyes.  If he were the arrogant kind, the plethora of compliments he receives would inflate his ego to such a degree that he'd be hard-pressed to get his head though the door.  But Nugget carries about him an air which indicates he's confident enough in himself to not care what others think.  Of course he loves the compliments and becomes fast friends with anyone who makes a fuss over him, but it's not uncommon for him to end such interactions with a fierce, unexpected belch, so as to say, "Look what I can do!"  This I know because he always looks at me and smiles after his manly outburst.  He's proud, I'm mortified... on the outside.  But inside I'm doubled over in hysterical laughter because he is, hands down, the funniest dog I know!