tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6294846734310108652024-03-13T08:24:09.695-04:00Life is Like a Box of NuggetsThe misadventures of a loyal Golden and his Doodle partner in crime.Nuggethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13748908744028663952noreply@blogger.comBlogger305125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-30600003243988555902012-07-25T12:54:00.002-04:002012-07-25T12:54:26.266-04:00Death Doodle Returns<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not to be confused with <em>Batman Returns</em> ... but at least as scary. Actually, I never even saw that movie, so I'm just guessing. You may recall </span><a href="http://thedogblog84.blogspot.com/2010/11/visit-from-death-doodle-may-prove.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this post</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> where I introduced Death Doodle to you. Go ahead and review. I'll wait...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">B returned on Friday from his 8-day voyage which included not only his Vegas bachelor party, but also a stay in San Antonio with layovers in Phoenix, Charlotte and probably 17 other cities. I think he flew over or landed in at least 48 of the 50 states during the last 2 weeks. Surprisingly only his golf clubs were lost... followed briefly by my sanity as I circled the airport for 45 minutes, during which time Oscar assaulted the police officer who had enough nerve to ask to search our trunk. Fortunately, I'm pretty savvy with the window controls and managed to separate them with glass before any blood was shed. BSL in Boston is about to include Labradoodles, no $hit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As soon as B got in the car, I noticed he was sniffling a bit and had a scratchy throat. He swore he wasn't sick, just tired. But I woke up with a sore throat on Saturday. By Sunday I had a slight cough, too and was feeling pretty exhausted. So we got Pinkberry and watched <em>Contagion</em>. Not more than 10 minutes into the movie, I was sure the source of my misery was that B came in contact with a dirty butcher who handled a sick pig who was bitten by an infected bat in Hong Kong. I immediately doused my entire life in hand sanitizer. No really, we get those giant 80 gallon barrels of it from like Sam's Club or BJs. Fine, it's 1 gallon and it was only enough to clean my hands 93 times. We are out of bleach or else I would have used that next.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Naively, I believed the crisis to be averted, though narrowly. But last night, Oscar was insistent on laying unusually and uncomfortably close to me. And he would not budge. I woke up this morning and he was on top of me. At first, I believed the 60lbs of limp doodle weight upon my chest to be the source of my breathing difficulties. No such luck. I have a full blown Contagion-like illness for which there is surely no cure. (Except for maybe more cowbell... but those are surprisingly hard to find in downtown Boston).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nuggie has been in the bed with me during the past couple of nights as well. I really thought it was because he was woozy from the Benedryl I gave him to ease the itchiness of his hot spots and that he just wanted his mommy. Now I'm leaning more towards the idea that Oscar is recruiting new team members to be able to keep up with the demands of the epidemic that is about to occur. Only time will tell, friends. But don't say I didn't warn you! Death Doodle is back on the prowl...</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-68735223423462340932012-07-03T18:44:00.000-04:002012-07-24T18:45:44.591-04:00A Doodle Confession<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You maybe heard a rumor... and I cannot deny it's true. Though I've been a very good boy lately, sometimes da need for mischief just overcomes me and I simply cannot helps myself. Other than snatching a few bags of pita and english muffins from da kitchen here and there, I've been on my best doodle behavior. (What? I craves da carbs!) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But then there was da snag and run... Mommy and daddy took me and da Nugg to da beach. We were very excited to go. It's a doggy beach! We likes to meet new friends and swim and prance through da waves and dig and roll in da sand. We loves da sand. Daddy hates da sand. And I accidentally kicked it in mommy's eyes... oops.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well I was running and playin' with a new friend. We were havings a good time. But then I caughts a wiff of somethings good! It smelled really, REALLY goods... and so I followed my doodle nose and it led me right to an open beach bag. It was not supervised. There were no signs that said, "This is not for Doodle dog"... And so I helped myself and then I ran like da wind!!! I sprinted circles around mom and dad, withs a big doodle smile on my face while I was trying to chomp that snack down in a hurry. They couldn't catchs me and mommy was laughing so hard. Dad was mad. But then mom reminded him of da rules - anythings open and unsupervised is fair game at da doggy beach!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wells da karma bus picked up dad laters with a big hole in da baggie he used to pick ups ma poops! That will teach him to get mad when I do somethings silly and Doodlish :) *giggle*</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Licks & wiggles,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oscar B Doodle Dog </span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-72338258002569075722012-07-01T21:53:00.004-04:002012-07-01T21:53:46.642-04:00Busy at the beach...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sorry we've been m.i.a., but there's just too much fun stuff to get into in New England. We've been BUSY! Here's a quick vid of our beach trip today. Stay tuned, we'll be posting more shortly!</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Gaz_bGroT6g" width="560"></iframe></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-20878913760174747252012-04-12T11:40:00.001-04:002012-04-12T16:29:01.389-04:00Do You Smell Something Funny?<div>
<b>This is how the boys fell asleep after daycare last night - Oscar's feet on Nugget's face. Nugget never even flinched... Oh the joys of a deep, post-daycare sleep!</b><br />
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<img height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEoMbXe5XXyJ5wYmBm2cthdWUx3kXfHlMNJ29ikXMmwcTC3PHOCuHYp1ft_lGcHdpJhdocz4XVNVApHzbK9qNyjnmwZE2yHfqK5muzI3lnzSlk6Bt2EeJHxNVv_YdomQDZK-VWBBWFN0Q/" width="237" /></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-43158151096733684152012-03-21T14:45:00.005-04:002012-03-21T14:45:39.763-04:00WORDLESS WEDNESDAY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">No really, Nugg is out of words!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>... But we're here to party!</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Now which way to the buffet?</b></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-51340034353632316122012-03-18T19:26:00.002-04:002012-03-18T19:26:55.806-04:00Doodle Dog Makes Momma Proud<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrK-6NKjL9CK0OJVKnKoyWBvPbJjhFEM5NJ2CCercK8YKkz5HRHZSYplFFOKeH3EoJ-vlKNwv2aFrxs1kdU7WZmmUVjGoeQdQ7HJQsdD9j3jXBEjgq53tybfEPv6pw4Bf7_qXK2vz3z34/s1600/Picnik+collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrK-6NKjL9CK0OJVKnKoyWBvPbJjhFEM5NJ2CCercK8YKkz5HRHZSYplFFOKeH3EoJ-vlKNwv2aFrxs1kdU7WZmmUVjGoeQdQ7HJQsdD9j3jXBEjgq53tybfEPv6pw4Bf7_qXK2vz3z34/s640/Picnik+collage.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-52976562953178733832012-03-15T11:05:00.003-04:002012-03-15T11:05:46.492-04:00WHATCHU TALKIN' 'BOUT, WILLIS?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdjZaiCEkEeDCb2mHl1GHPEtbWz-vs01QNEtOmommx9VnUXkmn551a_mcG7hQ0EHjISRQ-UJFcCnbZ-3VLIWxKsxmu6S6k-q4kLMX9oi3RMa5LiU7IzlLQouSWmHqp1rcETwVBuXbTZ4I/s1600/nugg.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="640px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdjZaiCEkEeDCb2mHl1GHPEtbWz-vs01QNEtOmommx9VnUXkmn551a_mcG7hQ0EHjISRQ-UJFcCnbZ-3VLIWxKsxmu6S6k-q4kLMX9oi3RMa5LiU7IzlLQouSWmHqp1rcETwVBuXbTZ4I/s640/nugg.JPG" width="380px" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-49449528813441305862012-03-11T15:05:00.002-04:002012-03-11T15:06:29.342-04:00MARCH MADNESSSSS!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9tCO6IJoaKkJqDgSoA_145_lP90TRzI1e42aoVYcdXbKxaltKrA4QrUT0NHXY86Mg34tKwTdzP2PouOtyUEdebMTJxdtXpgOAd3iaxTkaFMEiRwOFHe_L4lsw98OzfO-MWDAW-UOxk7U/s1600/432336_365985656756827_180762928612435_1232780_1402640198_na.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9tCO6IJoaKkJqDgSoA_145_lP90TRzI1e42aoVYcdXbKxaltKrA4QrUT0NHXY86Mg34tKwTdzP2PouOtyUEdebMTJxdtXpgOAd3iaxTkaFMEiRwOFHe_L4lsw98OzfO-MWDAW-UOxk7U/s640/432336_365985656756827_180762928612435_1232780_1402640198_na.jpg" width="433" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">BIG BLUE NUGG!</span></b></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-64071930711906589152012-02-22T10:31:00.001-05:002012-02-22T10:31:09.661-05:00WORDLESS WEDNESDAY<div><br/><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyUhkSC7LPJLmtj5t69o2En9J23JqMjRYyzwFmAHyINpSdQOokIef0VvRpI3so1r0PKYeNa2VV51n_lXYnFvOKAHuQ2fB8JuU279e-InZ2bQ2C7F2GH5ddB7MOA32Xct-eLFUvGWa2PuY/' /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-79858235825247265462012-02-02T19:13:00.001-05:002012-02-02T19:13:23.706-05:00Boy Dogs Shouldn't Help You With Laundry...<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...because it may inspire cross-dressing. Doodle dog managed this entirely on his own, by rolling in my laundry pile. My apologies for the poor picture quality. I could barely stop wetting my pants long enough to catch even this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Don't even act like you're surprised by how small it is...)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nugget is not impressed. He looks a little concerned, actually...</span></div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-34346287504766045922012-01-25T07:28:00.001-05:002012-01-25T07:28:37.008-05:00WORDLESS WEDNESDAY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-20229514921223428152012-01-23T21:16:00.002-05:002012-01-23T21:16:48.917-05:00I'll Have the Roast Beast Please...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: left;">I know our posts have been few and far between… and by “our” I strictly mean MINE because B was a big fat liar when he said he would contribute. To date, he’s posted once. And he’s all like, “When are <i>you</i> going to blog again? Your posts are funny…” But I really think he’s just trying to prove to his long-distance friends from college that I’m actually a real person. I honestly think he would have been better off marrying a closet phone sex operator than an inconsistent hobby blogger and probably so does he. But here we are and as much as I want to write funny shit like every day, sometimes the days are long, my daily commute is about 9 hours each way, and he’s all in my face like, “What’s for dinner and where are my black shoes?” and at least twice a week I have to superglue the dog back together like a large, fragile, dollar-store vase I just can't bring myself to part with and that really doesn’t leave much time for more than a quick glass of wine and some recreational drugs. He wonders why I eat Klonopin like Skittles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But he’s not totally useless. At times, he provides some decent insight that I hadn't previously considered. As B so expertly pointed out after our recent Doodle ordeal, once Oscar hurts a part of his body, it will "hurt" forever. Drama Doodle Exhibit A: his butt is healed, but he still squeals like <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112431/">Babe</a></i> when I touch his tail. Exhibit B: Also, his thigh that he sprained like a decade ago, still “hurts” when I touch it. Disclaimer - before ACO is sent knocking on my door tomorrow - the vet checked him 36 times and it cost me about $90 million and now I’ll NEVER have a new Lamborghini, and HIS LEG IS FINE! I’m only a little bitter because I’m stuck driving THIS:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.neoscooters.com/prodimages/e-moto/retro_small.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="http://www.neoscooters.com/prodimages/e-moto/retro_small.gif" width="200" /></a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Exhibit
C: He still remembers one time I cut his nail too short and he bled for like 5
hours because now he </span><span style="line-height: 18px;">doesn't</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> like me to touch his feet.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">Fine, broken nails hurt like a bitch.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">I’ll give him that one. But the observation is legit.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In addition to his doggy-psychiatrist-like observations, B also has quite
the collection of “conspiracy theories” which typically involve the dogs vs
B and the dogs always win. Just last night, for example, he came
bouncing into bed after the football game to announce the Giants’ win… as if I
cared. After all, I generally go to bed
because I want to <i>sleep </i>not because
I’m anxiously awaiting the play-by-play of his last Madden NFL Xbox live Atari match…
or whatever the hell it is. I was
experiencing insomnia and he was seriously screwing with my already lousy attempt to
achieve Zen, and thus a peaceful night’s sleep.
He then announced his inability to get comfortable because of Oscar’s
inconvenient positioning across the entire bottom half of the bed. So I foolishly suggested he move the dog, to
which he responded with a convoluted diatribe about how he can’t because Oscar
will bite him and now his leg is stuck in such a position that the blood supply
to that limb will surely diminish its ability to remain intact with his body by
morning and he’ll have to have it amputated and after it heals and he learns to
walk on just one leg, the dogs will wrap their leashes around the remaining
good leg and he’ll have to have that one amputated, too, in addition to surgery
and sutures to put his brains back in after he bounces off the ground. The only logical response I could muster at
that point was to remind him of my previously announced stance that we
immediately stop using the retractable leashes.
Problem solved, NOW SHUT UP! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In full disclosure a conversation earlier in the weekend went just like this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">B: You're obsessed with those <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Betsy-Pups/343476255670288">puppies</a>. You're going to watch that <a href="http://www.ustream.tv/channel/our-dog-room">live feed</a> all night, aren't you?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: Shut up, I have to learn their names.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">B: Why?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: Because we're fostering all 11 of them, I told you that yesterday!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">B: [Blank stare]</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I suppose it was the least I could do to entertain his word vomit about his irrational limb-lossage fears. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Klonopin would probably serve him well, too.</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-57105141871078661742012-01-21T17:32:00.001-05:002012-01-21T17:32:01.980-05:00Nugg & Osc's Snow Day<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oTsIposEQCY" width="420"></iframe></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-62378626938636196302012-01-17T20:08:00.001-05:002012-01-17T20:08:10.357-05:00WORDLESS WEDNESDAY<div><p>Who wants to play ball?</p>
<br/><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmu1FIWpV9sWP4D9N4lb4liAJJJOoDkXKKhgpuViYWzfGixcxmt3RQrwS-gWejJytumu_J5iv768JcqNIWMInNx0FOr-6iXxTP0iJJwTASu6-eVOxCzLdV_5i1yY1NX6L7LXeLgAqXrQw/' /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-82270959113479616782012-01-11T12:50:00.001-05:002012-01-11T12:50:55.709-05:00Wordless Wednesday<div><p>Bummed about his bum bum?...</p>
<br/><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9zGkQMH5qUWTw-O05lUeElhWherDz4CqUCSOjRbpkhYBdl17wvRs0xxdgxmTfwkUNCJfv-2I0HYK0lrofCVgn6rV2YRLcxpaaZo8QA_qXVIqrK8FxMoIavOmuDJGyDFKiuWoI5SJc4w/' /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-19067287772954091192012-01-10T12:51:00.003-05:002012-01-10T18:10:01.343-05:00I’m Not Amused and I’m STILL Not Making it Up…<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You might think, by now, that due to the vast number of
abnormal dog issues I’ve encountered over the past couple of years, I probably have
quite the imagination and could likely write a fairly decent informational piece
about any and all possible reasons you may need to visit an emergency vet. But just when I think we’ve experienced it
all, Oscar surprises us with something new.
And I swear, I STILL cannot make this stuff up…</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Saturday began like any other. I slept in while B (bless his heart), got up
to tend to the boys. Our original plan
was to take them for a walk around the lake, but I was feeling a little under
the weather and decided to just take them to the park to romp and play fetch
instead. In other words, I wasn’t in the
mood to be pulled the entire 4 miles around the lake by Nugget, who has
recently decided to completely disregard any and all leash training (</span><s style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or
possibly lack thereof</s><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">), he’s ever received.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the park, we engaged in our typical park
games of fetch and chase with Nugget, while Oscar practiced Jiu Jitsu with a dangerously
large branch he found. I was too
frightened of the high probability I’d suffer a busted knee cap or deep thigh
bruise to even attempt to take the uprooted sequoia tree out of his mouth. Also, I
don’t actually have the slightest clue what Jiu Jitsu is or whether it involves
weaponry, but it sounds cool. Eventually
he tired of whirling the branch in the air and decided it was time to focus on
his neat Frisbee-fetching skills.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Allow me to reiterate that Osc’s athletic ability is pretty
phenomenal. This is unfortunate only
because he is also very clumsy… [see almost
any previous post for reference]. He
loves to jump and pull Frisbees out of the air or hurdle Nugget during sprints
through the house or do back flips while trying to snatch a ball during a game
of keep-away. Saturday was no different,
really. B whipped the Frisbee through
the air and Osc took off after it. He
jumped into the air and caught it, doing a flip on his way back to the
ground. We were cheering him on until he
didn’t quite make it all the way around and missed his feet, landing flat on
his back. He got up right away, so we weren't immediately alarmed. But then he
started crying. So I picked him up and
brushed him off. I didn’t see any
abrasions or puncture woulds. I
assumed he was just scared, until he pulled away from me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>**[This is where you stop reading if you are
easily grossed out!!!]**<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He walked a few feet and starting trying to poop. He was clearly struggling and then I saw
blood. Not just a little; it was a
decent amount. And he was still crying. Upon closer look, I realized his backside was
covered in blood under his tail and he had a bright red, bloody bump on his
bum. Irrational me: “Oh MY GOD! He broke a bone and it punctured his
bowel! We need to go to the ER vet for emergency surgery, NOW!” Rational me: doesn’t exist. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">B drove us to the emergency vet (which is conveniently
located practically in our back yard… It’s like B’s relocation people <i>knew</i>!).
I took Osc inside while B took Nugg home. Since I am clearly a child, I was trying to explain to
the lady at the desk what had happened without being too graphic and
disgusting. She turned my, “He fell and
is now pooping blood and has a bump on his bum” into “Blood present when
defecating; abrasions and trauma
to anal tissue”. Thanks. I couldn’t have said it better myself. And I didn’t.
Obviously she’s heard it all, so my dog’s anus issue didn’t faze her in
the least. But I didn’t want to be all,
“OH MY GAWD! He’s shitting out his
insides. We need help NOWWWWWWW!!!!!” [CUE
DRAMATIC SOBBING] even though I was fairly certain that’s what was happening. "Trust me! I'm a vet!" (That's what I tell dogs when I'm giving them medicine or shots or brushing their teeth). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turns out, I wasn’t too far off. He did have scrapes from mid-thigh to about 2
inches up his tail and a partial rectal prolapse. (For the love of Jesus, do NOT do a Google
image search unless you are trying to be sick…). Fortunately, it was minor enough that it
didn’t warrant surgery. Ironically, the
remedy is sugar and ice. (<i>That</i> you can
Google. It’s legit). Basically, we've been putting granulated
sugar (the artificial stuff will not, I repeat <b>WILL NOT</b>, suffice), and ice on his butt after every bowel movement
since Saturday. <i>I seriously cannot make
this up</i>. (I had to throw the granulated
sugar disclaimer in there in case some genius stumbles across this and tries to
use Splenda to cure his own rectal prolapse. Yes, I said<i> HIS</i>!).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1-6OsEYJO40KHWwGbxzb3EqQUTu_pWQSj1hwvB2BUJCewfSjoaYlaoOHWpHJroaFj_IPTra4jE4yzEfttb1rQxhSC9gvWgypfUsDROOTSQYllyrd_0vh26gXzGoO6aZ39pe35rWhK7qE/s1600/IMAG0914.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1-6OsEYJO40KHWwGbxzb3EqQUTu_pWQSj1hwvB2BUJCewfSjoaYlaoOHWpHJroaFj_IPTra4jE4yzEfttb1rQxhSC9gvWgypfUsDROOTSQYllyrd_0vh26gXzGoO6aZ39pe35rWhK7qE/s320/IMAG0914.jpg" width="191" /></a>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nugget is so embarrassed for Oscar. He can't even stand to look!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In hindsight, being pulled 4 miles around the lake would
have been less painful than our ER vet bill.
And the extreme lack of sleep we all experienced on Saturday night. Osc was miserable, thus making the rest of us
miserable. In addition to that, I think
I’ve washed my sheets and his blankets about 62 times in the last three days due
to the non-stop anal leakage he’s experiencing.
[Think: Warning on Alli bottles.
Anal leakage is for real!] So we
bought some diapers at Petco. And they
were too small. He was not pleased and,
in fact, stood in one spot like a statue for 45 minutes, refusing to move and surely plotting his
revenge. That idea was a bust, but I’m
so glad I’m stuck with a package of 18 medium-sized diapers that will fit any accidental human babies I have, should they be born with tails…
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk2VY94849lhh-OzxYv45EMWArBO4EGxw8ennaykqNMuQLcfllgy0K7GuoAQKTdncGCW6cCUCx0Lq8hjzQfYxvSn_S0p1MPavGQUGAaI7Mxh4-YVVxariNTQt6Vp5uZccj06oTW4xR3gU/s1600/IMAG0926.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk2VY94849lhh-OzxYv45EMWArBO4EGxw8ennaykqNMuQLcfllgy0K7GuoAQKTdncGCW6cCUCx0Lq8hjzQfYxvSn_S0p1MPavGQUGAaI7Mxh4-YVVxariNTQt6Vp5uZccj06oTW4xR3gU/s320/IMAG0926.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Diapers are NOT a dog's best friend...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And PS – anyone who says having dogs is easier than human
babies can EFF OFF!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6GcadZpsolQbEUvE_ubdrIE7ehzJM3kyatdDF6aqNdcJzGA_lf0-vNRLbiwyl3LhXxim4gjNpDyt9hD0YK77yiSa7uqt-vDznrBQSDBfE0OM2pJyUEE8vW5zV22b1PgjGAc-IogwgA4/s1600/IMAG0945.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6GcadZpsolQbEUvE_ubdrIE7ehzJM3kyatdDF6aqNdcJzGA_lf0-vNRLbiwyl3LhXxim4gjNpDyt9hD0YK77yiSa7uqt-vDznrBQSDBfE0OM2pJyUEE8vW5zV22b1PgjGAc-IogwgA4/s320/IMAG0945.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oscar, King of the Unfathomable</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-26670490810939570192012-01-05T07:22:00.000-05:002012-01-05T07:22:04.801-05:00'Tis the Season...<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Because I am a textbook example of a crazy, late-twenty-something with </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">severe neurosis, I opted into the belief that early and mostly-online </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">holiday shopping was, in fact, the way to go… lest there be bloodshed, </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">mangled cars in the mall parking lot and a probable short-term jail </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">sentence.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Look at me! ‘Twas December 1st, my shopping was complete AND about </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">half of my packages were wrapped. I was all gloaty until I realized I </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">forgot to update my shipping address and some of my packages were </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">delivered to my old apartment in North Carolina… and like 3 things </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">were placed on such a severe level of backorder that the companies </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">just cancelled the orders altogether. UGH Sorry B… I’m not sure why </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Santa didn’t leave anything for you… <strike>BUT AMAZON AND </strike></span><strike>NHL.COM<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> MIGHT </span></strike><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><strike>KNOW!</strike></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">My intentions were good and I was off to a decent start on completing </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">my holiday tasks. But then I put off making Christmas cards, so I </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">finally just uploaded an adorable reindog/elf-dog pic to Shutterfly </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">and put a card together there. I also paid Shutterfly to address, </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">stamp and mail my cards. On Christmas Eve. Oops. Maybe I should have changed them to Easter cards</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">…</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">I also intended to send B off with some delectable holiday treats to </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">bestow upon my family and his. He left a few days early with the boys. Long </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">drive! I got to fly and meet up with them on Christmas Eve. By the time </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">his scheduled departure rolled around, the last thing I wanted to do was </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">bake. The very thought of it made me want to chuck the hand-mixer </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">through the kitchen wall. Sorry family, no treats. No doubt </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">they’ll agree that having me sane and well-rested is significantly more savory!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Nugget was thoroughly empathetic. Or just hoping for me to pause the </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">holiday craziness long enough to give him a good head scratch! He’s </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">really good helper…….. if you consider laying or stepping on the </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">wrapping paper a big help. He enjoyed supervising the wrapping </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">frenzy, and even caught a peek at a few gifts from Santa Paws. I had</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">to make him pinky-promise not to tell Osc there is no Santa Paws. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Cost me a few biscuits, but what else was I supposed to do? Too risky...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Speaking of Oscar, his 2nd birthday was also upon us. That’s right, </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Oscar, Satanic-Tazmanian-Beast-&-</span><wbr style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"></wbr><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Destroyer-of-the-World shares a </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">birthday with Jesus, Savior of the World. Now if that’s not ironic…</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-73091037296892822212012-01-03T23:47:00.001-05:002012-01-03T23:47:02.309-05:00WORDLESS WEDNESDAY<div><br/><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPU6VzikyxoQjBl6CTIoIZpEwt7dI1IUI2uNzN3gnYwT6TZmVtGyjdYOrj8N2GGEJSluVfXnPu_GmEbGJg-VJXCtypiPD6fGhHgujAiqmWLh0jGYpOWAmqCkmkN8LbB2qDTfoqNtTGxZ8/' /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-62518677034207089322011-12-14T10:46:00.001-05:002011-12-14T10:46:01.851-05:00WORDLESS WEDNESDAY<div><br/><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_NUUqHMZHnwHtVu7YbwjO-WWReJvrvW_rG4rbGfzECS3ibuu6b4JfavB5PlNOccH-ue7Fp8kZgnoxBtple_ksmHAB01Q0DlkfrrlMgVsu9UxdTJb-3s9_Wxy1JXiA4kXi5rk42TJ-Vqg/' /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-1872024880725065342011-11-30T08:02:00.001-05:002011-11-30T08:02:30.753-05:00Wordless Wednesday<div><br/><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLhp22QeCK_EaLiFpns_myP69lvAIXmRI2ptnilPmiXakV-24YRaTQiy52dyoPsIJEaPf7XrkS_fCQc9lRbbgAVY7g_iiW3qgocagi8rlyFPs-1o5DM3_vX6Pb8uRYWO-YQ5pI7h3R8WM/' /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-78629619422162214072011-11-27T18:17:00.001-05:002011-11-27T18:45:13.215-05:00I still can't make this stuff up...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPpQQjb44STuc4tSm2ZnY-yAORIesX-BwsX6O6naCWy_drnScosLiMg5oEWVXMf4hBsV7YAbr9yvY3JhYPXFEwKI2iCyDI-bZaD-hULgQ1XN4t8mXQXCaW-6tM4QLLY0o5o6UhyphenhyphenIIiaQ/s1600/331437_572872313643_151200232_31791705_762632061_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPpQQjb44STuc4tSm2ZnY-yAORIesX-BwsX6O6naCWy_drnScosLiMg5oEWVXMf4hBsV7YAbr9yvY3JhYPXFEwKI2iCyDI-bZaD-hULgQ1XN4t8mXQXCaW-6tM4QLLY0o5o6UhyphenhyphenIIiaQ/s400/331437_572872313643_151200232_31791705_762632061_o.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I've learned ONE thing since adopting my second dog, it's that I am foolish to lay in bed on a Saturday morning making plans in my head to accomplish anything that day. As soon as my feet hit the floor, any and all plans are quickly derailed by Tazmanian Doodle and his endless list of needs and turmoil.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday, I was able to sweet-talk Osc and Nugg into going back to sleep when they woke me up at 5 a.m. I was nowhere near ready to start my day at the ass-crack of dawn. But when Osc began stirring again at 6:30, my day started very abruptly once I discovered he was bleeding all over my beige carpet and bed and walls. WTH DOG?!?!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He's had a small cut-turned-gash-turned-gaping hole in his right ear for a few weeks, presumably from a playful and careless altercation with Nugg. We've been to the vet on 3 separate occasions, where they've tried everything from liquid bandage, glue and silver nitrate. NOTHING has closed it long enough for it to heal entirely. So upon realizing he was gushing blood, yet again, B scooped him up and headed straight to the vet. (Seriously, thank DOG for Saturday hours!)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I spent my Saturday morning scrubbing and steam-cleaning blood out of my carpets and furniture, washing my walls and putting my freshly washed bedding back through the laundry. If you'd asked me before sunrise, whilst still snuggled in my warm covers, if that is exactly how I did NOT envision spending my Saturday morning, I would have naively said, "yes".</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pictured above is Mummy Head Doodle. That is what B and the vet rigged up to keep Osc from shaking his head, thus causing the ear wound to open and profusely bleed, yet again. (Yes that's an ACE bandage inside of the cone...) On Tuesday, he is scheduled to have surgery so the vet can reopen the wound, clean out dead tissue and properly sew it back together. That's not going to be cheap. <i>I'm debating whether I should let B know I already bought our Dyson and it will ship next week, or if I should let him think someone bought it for us off our registry. He might actually birth live kittens...</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway, shortly after I'd finished cleaning up the blood and B had returned from the vet with Doodle, I was sitting on the couch contemplating a nap. Moments later the phone rang, which B ran to answer and I sat up just in time to see Nugget lose his breakfast all over the floor, just in front of my feet. All I could do is cuss... a lot.</span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-64851449183246626882011-11-23T17:43:00.001-05:002011-11-23T17:43:36.513-05:00YAPPY THANKSGIVING<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2zYZYBWKuCrybYIoR5A6wrlamqBpz8fAZroVXVVA4EtUUAqLlIXg0vYHD959jg8I2o37fXh1s-peBz4zNx_nRQB1PrIKaA8nnkLya23IaCUrxYuiJtgWIgsZ0_GJgXQjT-a2mFkR3M98/s1600/IMAG0616a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2zYZYBWKuCrybYIoR5A6wrlamqBpz8fAZroVXVVA4EtUUAqLlIXg0vYHD959jg8I2o37fXh1s-peBz4zNx_nRQB1PrIKaA8nnkLya23IaCUrxYuiJtgWIgsZ0_GJgXQjT-a2mFkR3M98/s640/IMAG0616a.jpg" width="382" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-629484673431010865.post-79767545516924672762011-11-16T08:43:00.001-05:002011-11-21T18:35:44.857-05:00Wordless Wednesday<div>
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<img height="382" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxrHkUe_bT3PQzDe-bZQt_qA2czQ-3gpFiOnONejxIEpHmqF0mDVt37J2OwlpmwBnAtlZZmqTNXBdJGYf5A_ZWrJWnbBWEQsh3HBKbN3HT8WLhOtlpHK3lKXizFBMkgCs0Ex6ngz6Ju9U/" width="640" /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02848495056606648386noreply@blogger.com2