Sunday, November 27, 2011

I still can't make this stuff up...

If I've learned ONE thing since adopting my second dog, it's that I am foolish to lay in bed on a Saturday morning making plans in my head to accomplish anything that day.  As soon as my feet hit the floor, any and all plans are quickly derailed by Tazmanian Doodle and his endless list of needs and turmoil.

Yesterday, I was able to sweet-talk Osc and Nugg into going back to sleep when they woke me up at 5 a.m.  I was nowhere near ready to start my day at the ass-crack of dawn.  But when Osc began stirring again at 6:30, my day started very abruptly once I discovered he was bleeding all over my beige carpet and bed and walls.  WTH DOG?!?!

He's had a small cut-turned-gash-turned-gaping hole in his right ear for a few weeks, presumably from a playful and careless altercation with Nugg.  We've been to the vet on 3 separate occasions, where they've tried everything from liquid bandage, glue and silver nitrate.  NOTHING has closed it long enough for it to heal entirely.  So upon realizing he was gushing blood, yet again, B scooped him up and headed straight to the vet.  (Seriously, thank DOG for Saturday hours!)

I spent my Saturday morning scrubbing and steam-cleaning blood out of my carpets and furniture, washing my walls and putting my freshly washed bedding back through the laundry.  If you'd asked me before sunrise, whilst still snuggled in my warm covers, if that is exactly how I did NOT envision spending my Saturday morning, I would have naively said, "yes".

Pictured above is Mummy Head Doodle.  That is what B and the vet rigged up to keep Osc from shaking his head, thus causing the ear wound to open and profusely bleed, yet again.  (Yes that's an ACE bandage inside of the cone...)  On Tuesday, he is scheduled to have surgery so the vet can reopen the wound, clean out dead tissue and properly sew it back together.  That's not going to be cheap.  I'm debating whether I should let B know I already bought our Dyson and it will ship next week, or if I should let him think someone bought it for us off our registry.  He might actually birth live kittens...

Anyway, shortly after I'd finished cleaning up the blood and B had returned from the vet with Doodle, I was sitting on the couch contemplating a nap.  Moments later the phone rang, which B ran to answer and I sat up just in time to see Nugget lose his breakfast all over the floor, just in front of my feet.  All I could do is cuss...  a lot.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

'Nana 'Napper

No, I surely do not know what happened to those two bananas that were on the kitchen table...  No, I do not think that is banana goo in my whiskers.  Nope.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Doodletainment 2.0

My mornings are significantly less chaotic since we moved to Boston.  Knowing I have to be at the train station by 7:38 a.m. (or else I’ll be REALLY late to work) provides more “get-up-and-out” motivation than did my 5 minute Charlotte commute.  I had a snooze button habit I couldn’t kick.  Though, the fact that the sun rises (and sets) a solid hour earlier in Boston probably helps, too.  With that said, I now have more time to deal with the inevitable Doodle shenanigans each morning.

Fortunately, B’s travel schedule has been very light since we moved.  (After all, that was the deal for getting me to move from the equator to the North Pole…).  Most of the Doodle shenanigans happen on his watch, for a change.  B has cleaned up a lot of Doodle vomit and blood.  But still only a fraction of what I’ve cleaned over the course
of the last 16 months.

Out of the kindness of Oscar’s little Doodle heart, however, I am not forgotten.  This week, I had 3 mornings alone with my boys and the events occurred as follows:  
Monday morning while I was in the shower, Oscar ate the box of tissues that was on my nightstand; 
Tuesday morning while I was in the shower, Oscar ate through the garbage bag and devoured chicken that was God-only-knows how old; 
Wednesday morning while I was in the shower, Oscar was counter-surfing and began
nibbling through the bag of dog food I just bought. 
On each of those mornings, Nugget was planted on the rug in front of the shower curtain, so as to make sure I knew he was there and NOT involved in the messes occurring elsewhere in the house at that very moment.  In fact, that’s usually how I first know that Oscar is into something – Nugg is glued to my side and Doodle is nowhere in sight.

In addition to my morning entertainment, he’s taken all of the sponges out of the cabinet under the sink  (in his defense, I did not close it all the way), bled all over the dog walker (his ear… again), and knocked over a bottle of drops I was putting in his other ear for a yeast infection...  Yeah, I'd say we're adjusting to the new place rather well.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Confessions of a Doodle Mom

Don't judge me... I do what I need to do to get by.  Barely.  By some stretches of the imagination, I might be considered lazy.  But thanks to a good sense of humor and no sense of shame, I'm totally ok telling on myself.  And more often than not, my short cuts come back to bite me in the @$$ anyway.

Last Saturday morning, the temperature was somewhat brisk and the skies were dumping buckets full of rain in preparation for the freak snow storm that came through later that evening.  Since I was feeling a slight twinge of guilt for having asked B to take the dogs out every morning that week, I decided to get my day started when Oscar sounded his alarm at the painfully early hour of 6 a.m. and I took the boys out.  Partially due to my own laziness, but mostly due to the fact that it was monsooning, I opted to set the filled poo bags by the back steps rather than walking them to the poo-recepticle around the front of the building.  (FIRST OF ALL... if the landlord prefers we walk the dogs out back, then why is the doggy doo depot in the FRONT?!  Please... and thanks.)

Well, I forgot about the poo bags until about Tuesday morning.  B was away on a work trip, so I found myself, again, on early morning potty duty.  Just as I let the boys off their leashes to run out and do their business, I spotted my prize-filled green bags by the back steps.  Again feeling somewhat lazy and not yet quite awake, I decided a trip to the front of the building was not likely to happen.  And since it was still dark and I couldn't hear anyone lingering near, I carefully picked up the very ripe bags, peeked out to my left; peeked out to my right, and launched them into the woods.

I heard them land and a half a second later, Doodle was dashing into the trees to see what was there.  Mother of God...  it was 6 a.m., pitch-damn-black and poorly lit in the back of the building, colder than the North Pole... and I had to go find a DARK BROWN DOG among the trees?  But first, I had to stop laughing... 

Fortunately, I didn't have to go far.  Doodle quickly returned, toting a sapling I'm sure he uprooted.  All I had to say was, "Who wants noms?"  Too easy.

Friday, November 4, 2011

(Belated) Nuggiversary

Since I'm a fairly terrible and careless dog mom, I completely forget about our 3 year Nuggiversary - a.k.a. the celebration of the anniversary of me adopting the Nugg.  In all fairness, we have been a little busy.  But I'll try to make up for it now...

Nugg's birthday post wasn't too long ago and I used that to honor him with a brief Nugg history.  So I figured I would recap his birthday celebration now.  Mostly because it was adorably fit for the Prince that he is!

We went to the lake so he could do what he loves to do more than anything in the world: SWIM!
Swimming was a great idea until Oscar cut his foot and bled all over... and I lost a flip flop in the mud.  I was annoyed.  But seriously, that Doodle is always bleeding.  I told him to stop taking so many anti-coagulants. 

So we went home and had a little Nugg birthday cake.

And Nugg opened his presents, which included a bag of his favorite treats...

...and he got a new bone!

He even shared his cake with Osc...

But not before he licked the entire thing!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Snowmaggedon, Boston 2011

I have no doubt this is only the beginning of many, many snow posts I'll make while we're living in Boston. B totally accused me of being a drama queen when I insisted we buy me a parka immediately upon our arrival in Boston at the beginning of October...  Well NOW look at what October 29th delivered!  Fortunately, my being a drama queen has no place on his list of things which he finds tolerable.  So I got my parka... and just in time!  After all, if I didn't have a parka, I surely wouldn't be outside snapping these adorable pics:


I could hardly stop laughing long enough to take the picture... he was jumping up and grabbing snowflakes!

Nugg was just eating it off the ground

My heart has a soft place for the wet-faced Doodle look

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Big Move

Fine.  I'm a big fat liar.  Our "update post" did NOT immediately follow last Friday's post.  But it's here now!  Mainly because I'm exhausted and if I even have to think about unpacking one more moving box, I'm just going to bulldoze the rest of it out the door and set it on fire. 

The boys were not happy to spend their last week in Charlotte sleeping on an air mattress.

So... we moved the first weekend of October.  To Boston from Charlotte.  It was almost 1000 miles.  And it took 3 days to get here.  I need to take a 5-day-long nap just thinking about ever having to do that again.  But we stayed with some PAWSOME friends along the way!

These are our friends Oscar and Harley Quinn.  We stayed with them in Virginia!

We stopped at a lot of rest stops... 

...sometimes just so Nugg could pop in and say, "Hi!"...

... or for Osc to get some fresh air!

We saw a lot of new states...

...and put A LOT of miles on our cars.

B's job called for the move.  So he proposed (SURPRISE!  WE'RE ENGAGED!) in August and I began a New England job search.  

Nugg is practicing for his ring bearer role in the wedding

Since this move was clearly meant to be, three positions within my current company opened in the Boston area in September.  I put in for and was immediately granted the transfer.  So YAY for not really having to look for a job!  Because honestly, I wasn't looking very hard... and I was totally prepared to be a stay-at-home dog mom... even if that meant we had to live under a bridge.  There are a lot of bridges in New England.

The boys really love their tree-lined backyard and listening for the wild turkeys in the morning.

They were a huge help when it came to unpacking... 

Oscar even got a cardboard cut on the tip of his tail, which involved such a ridiculous amount of blood that our new and clean apartment suddenly rivaled the scene of the Boston Massacre.  In my haste and disorganization, I carelessly put a bandaid on his tail.  I laid in bed awake for 2 straight nights wondering how on earth I was going to get that bandaid off.  He did me a favor and chewed it off on the third day.  A week later, I nicked his quick while I was cutting his nails.  Again he bled everywhere.  For obvious reasons, we located and saved as a favorite in our GPS the emergency vet on the very first day we arrived.  I still couldn't tell you where a people hospital is...

 The boys REALLY enjoy their new toys from Auntie Julie (Harley & Oscar's mom) in Virginia!  I think it made them forget about being in the car for 3 days...

Friday, October 21, 2011

We're Back!

We recently purchased one of those big fluffy things you put at the bottom of an outside door to keep out cold drafts; not to keep out cold drafts, but more to block noise from the hallway.  It actually works very well for that purpose... until Nugget claims it as his own and snuggles with it!

An update on all the new and exciting changes in our lives will follow shortly!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Another Day, Another Disaster...


No really, it’s fine… despite the inevitable disasters that only occur in his absence.  Fortunately he was just home for an entire week, during which the only mishaps were a small flood in our hallway and a stray Oscar turd by the front door…  Alas, Friday came and B went, and I was left with no lack of excitement, that’s for sure!

Friday night was fairly uneventful.  We’d had a busy week and I was exhausted.  The dogs were not… but it’s amazing what you’ll miss when you fall into a Benedryl coma.  Judging by the number of toys strewn throughout the house when I woke the next morning, I’d say it’s highly probably they threw a doggy rave party and I slept through it all. 

My intent was to take them to the park for a bit on Saturday, but it was ungodly hot and humid again so I opted out.  And I had some wedding tasks I wanted to tackle with a friend, so… sorry dogs.  I guess I should pause here and mention that B finally put a ring on it a couple of weeks ago.  Even if it was supposed to be a total surprise
(which it wasn’t), Oscar somehow managed to find the ring receipt and eat it while I showered one morning.  I’m not sure if he was trying to ensure the deal would be sealed and there was no way to return the ring, or if he was expressing his displeasure that he would be forever stuck competing with B for my love and affection, thus he ate the receipt in lieu of being able to find and eat the actual ring (which was with B, fortunately!)  My money is on the latter…

When I got home on Saturday, I took the boys out to play fetch.  Did you know that 74% of the world’s population of mosquitos lives in Charlotte, NC?  More specifically, in my neighborhood.  Fetch didn’t last long because I was literally being eaten alive by millions upon millions of mosquitos.  By the time we reached the front door, I was
just one big, red, itchy welt.   I’ll probably die from malaria by next Thursday.  And of course I didn’t notice that Nugget’s paw was bleeding until I saw red paw prints all over my beige carpet.  Super.

Later that evening, while tripping on some Benedryl, Nugget lost his dinner.  Not once.  Not twice. THREE times.  I’m fairly certain that it actually multiplied in his stomach because what he threw up looked like a whole lot more than what he consumed.  The smell was wretched.  It took me like an eternity and a half to clean it up because I
couldn’t stop throwing up.

Sunday was Nugget’s birthday.  I couldn’t think of a better way to enjoy the day than at the lake.  Oh how I sorely regretted that decision.  The lake level was down, so the “shore” was basically just mud.  Gross, thick, red Carolina mud.  I lost one of my favorite flip flops in it.  Nugget left all of his tennis balls way out in the water and Oscar cut his paw.  So he was bleeding like all over the place.  I wrapped a towel around it when we got in the car and the bleeding had stopped by the time we got home.  Dog first aid ninja, right here!

Later that night at home, I had some boxes out and was trying to get some things packed.  (Oh, I forgot to mention that we’re moving to Boston for B’s work).  We have a couple of months, but I wanted to get a start on things.  This plan, however, backfired since any hint of foreseeable drastic change totally makes Oscar’s brain short circuit
and he begins peeing and pooping all over the house.  I was all like, “Doodle, no!  I’m saving a box for you!  We’ll bring you with us, don’t worry… I’d never forget to pack you.”  He just looked at me all confused … and then peed on the floor again.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Happy 3rd Birthday Nugget!!

Three years ago today, my handsome man was born to Lacey and Copper Dunn of Locust, NC.  Lacey only whelped two pups (her first litter) and Nugget's sister didn't make it past the first night.  So for 9 weeks, Nugget had his fur parents and breeder parents and siblings all to himself.  What a chubby, little rolly polly chunk of love...  And SPOILED rotten already!  (See?  He came that way!)  When I saw his pic (below) in the classifieds of our local paper, I knew immediately I had to make him mine.

We brought him home in mid-October and it took me approximately 1/252,286,773rd of a second to fall in love.  Just LOOK at those eyes!

He was nearly perfect from the start.  He immediately slept through the night and had only a few accidents in the house.  He also made it very clear that he prefers LOTS of attention.  Having been the only pup, he was certainly used to getting plenty of it!  For awhile, I contemplated getting an automatic tennis ball launcher in order to give my arm a rest!

One day I came home from work to find this: 
Houdini had somehow escaped his kennel and shredded a back of printer paper and used the leg of the desk as a teething ring.

And sometimes, he required impromptu baths... (Yes, that's mud on his nose!)

But Nugget has always been an extremely well-behaved and easy-going dog.  I am so lucky!  
We've been through a lot together in 3 short years... and it feels like an eternity!  I cannot imagine one single day without him.  He has been and continues to be such an amazing blessing not only in my life, but also in the lives of others through his work as a therapy dog. 

I love you, Nugget George Houdini!  You make my world better just by being YOU!  
Happy 3rd Birthday, sweet man... 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

This Week's Chaos... I Can't Make This Stuff Up Part 3

After several weeks of trying to determine whether I had died and been dismissed straight to the hottest depths of hell, or that the sun might actually be orbiting around the Earth and at a proximity so close, it was once thought to be scientifically impossible, we finally saw some relief from the unbearable heat wave this past weekend.  Good thing, because I wasn’t sure I had enough Klonopin left to make it through another weekend cooped up in the apartment with the boys.
On Saturday we enjoyed a beautiful 5 mile walk, during the last half of which Nugget protested by parking his rear in the grass and refusing to move every 20 feet.  He was totally killing my stats on my Android Noom workout tracking app!  We eventually made it home and they both crashed, but B was determined to use me as a guinea pig in his new work out plan so we headed to the gym.  He wanted to start me off lifting 8,000lbs, but I struggled so we dropped it to 10lbs.  He made me do all kinds of fancy sh*t and on Sunday, I was fairly certain I would be needing a wheelchair for the rest of my life… or at the very least, for the next week.  But he had to pack and hit the road for a work trip… convenient, right?  Paralyze me and then leave me?  I’m selling the story to Lifetime.
Since I couldn’t move, I prayed the boys would be entertained with some frozen peanut butter Kongs or any of the rest of their 319 toys … or even the box of matches I carelessly left on the coffee table.  For the most part, this worked… until it didn’t because Nugget was hoarding Kongs.  And anyway, Oscar got diarrhea from the peanut butter and one time he didn’t quite make it outside, but thankfully he only soiled the (NEW!!!) rug by the door.  By bedtime, I was SURE he had to be empty since the amount of poo I saw come out of him was roughly equal to at least half his body weight.
In the morning, I realized just how wrong I’d been.  Oddly enough, I didn’t smell anything (my guess is that I’ve cleaned up so much by this point that I’m actually immune to it), but the entire hallway to the front door was spotted with Oscar’s liquid poo.  This brings to mind a deeply burning question, which often keeps me up at night – OSCAR, WHY CAN’T YOU STAND IN ONE SPOT AND POOP?!?!?!
I texted by boss to let him know I’d be late and then proceeded to pick up poo, dry heave, scrub, dry heave, rinse, repeat.  I was just about to get in the shower and get ready for work when I discovered more of the same in my bedroom.  Consistent with his previous design work, this too was all over the room, though with a delightful new twist – IT WAS SPRAYED ALL OVER THE WALL, TOO!  I texted my boss to let him know I was taking a personal day and began cleaning and steaming the carpets and did not finish for 5 hours, though I estimate I could have completed it in 3 had my legs and arms not been screaming and threatening to detach from my body and run away, still from Saturday's workout.
Fast forward to Wednesday – only because Tuesday was a non-event as they were both exhausted from daycare and draped sloppily about my furniture, lifeless and... (God Bless America) QUIET!  I got home from work on Wednesday and we began our normal routine of hugs, kisses, wiggles, more kisses and then outside for a potty walk.  As per usual, dinner was served immediately upon return from that walk, lest they would have attacked and eaten me for dinner like the savages they are.
I commenced with my own post-work routine of changing out of my work clothes and then sat on the couch to check important emails.  (Fine, it was Facebook and I was playing Words with Friends).  The next thing I know, Nugget turns around and attacks Oscar and they become engaged in a vicious fight.  It didn’t last but maybe 10 seconds before I could break it up, but it felt more like 10 minutes.  I immediately tossed Oscar into his crate and gated Nugget in the hall by the door.  My plan was to leave them that way until probably the year 2017 or at least long enough for me to find my Klonopin and all of us to calm down.  That plan derailed when I turned around and saw blood.  Not just a little blood, rather something you might see if you stumbled upon the scene of a recent gun fight where 96 people bled to death.  I looked over at Oscar and he was standing in a pool of blood in his crate.  Additionally, he kept shaking and blood was splattering everywhere. 
After a brief moment of seriously questioning my will to live and contemplating the possibility of darting out into rush hour traffic – preferably into the semi lane – I scrambled to find my phone and call B.  That’s a testament in itself to my exorbitantly elevated level of stress and already abnormal and unclear thinking since I knew he was 30,000 miles above Michigan… (or was it Iowa?  Brazil maybe?)  en route to Chicago from New York for work.  I don’t really know where exactly he was because my knowledge of geography (or a clear lack thereof) is obviously a little shady and I honestly should have never been promoted beyond the 4th grade, but I think teachers just got tired of me.  Regardless, what the heck did I think he was going to do about this from 542,237 miles away?  Exactly!  I wasn’t thinking… which is why my next course of action was to call my mom.  My mom lives in Kentucky, which is another 21,869 miles away.  Fine it’s only like 500 miles, but I read once that a fast-moving turtle can travel about 1 mile in a day.  Do you realize if I was a turtle it would take me a year and a half of walking to go visit my mom?!  I love my mom, but that’s hardly worth it.  Sorry mom.  Thank God I’m not a turtle… and anyway, that would be really hard to explain.  I digress.
Long story short (HA!), I figured out the bleeding was coming from his ear.  In short order, I was able to get the bleeding to stop because I’m basically a dog first aid ninja.  I called the vet and we headed over for him to be checked out.  Dr. White glued his ear back together.  The gash only ended up being about ½ inch, but Dr. White confirmed that ears tend to bleed viciously… Thanks for the late-breaking, I’m pretty sure I have physical evidence of such soaked into my freshly steam-cleaned carpets and walls.  Osc will be fine and Nugget will be going through some intense self-evaluation exercises to get his moral compass back in line.  Obviously skipping church has not been serving us well since the “Thou shalt not kill” commandment has seemingly escaped him.  Who am I to judge?  It escaped me too, for a minute.  But for now, I think we’re all friends again.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

20% off at Canvas on Demand!

If you're like me, you love being surrounded by pictures of your family and friends... and ESPECIALLY the furkids!  I've already have a canvassed pic of each dog and I just ordered another.  I simply LOVE this clever way of displaying some of my favorite pics.  Enjoy 20% off your first order by following the link above :)