A Criminal Among Us...

He did the crime(s), he's doing the time!

THINGS OSCAR HAS RUINED:

Remotes.  3 to be exact...

My carpet.  (Yes, that's a turd)...

His toys and Nugget's toys... (and any chance of being invited back to my parents' house)...

B's new car...

The carpet (again).  That's a Sharpie, btw.  (But Nature's Miracle did get the Sharpie ink out of the carpet)...

Any chance of my bed ever being dog-free...

Cleanliness.  Primarily of himself...

My mail...

Dolla dolla bills!...

Nugget's sanity!

I could go on.  But you don't have that kind of time and neither do I.  He may be eligible for a reduced sentence for good behavior, but we ain't countin' on it!