Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Death Doodle Returns

Not to be confused with Batman Returns ... but at least as scary.  Actually, I never even saw that movie, so I'm just guessing.  You may recall this post where I introduced Death Doodle to you.  Go ahead and review.  I'll wait...
B returned on Friday from his 8-day voyage which included not only his Vegas bachelor party, but also a stay in San Antonio with layovers in Phoenix, Charlotte and probably 17 other cities.  I think he flew over or landed in at least 48 of the 50 states during the last 2 weeks.  Surprisingly only his golf clubs were lost... followed briefly by my sanity as I circled the airport for 45 minutes, during which time Oscar assaulted the police officer who had enough nerve to ask to search our trunk.  Fortunately, I'm pretty savvy with the window controls and managed to separate them with glass before any blood was shed.  BSL in Boston is about to include Labradoodles, no $hit.
As soon as B got in the car, I noticed he was sniffling a bit and had a scratchy throat.  He swore he wasn't sick, just tired.  But I woke up with a sore throat on Saturday.  By Sunday I had a slight cough, too and was feeling pretty exhausted.  So we got Pinkberry and watched Contagion.  Not more than 10 minutes into the movie, I was sure the source of my misery was that B came in contact with a dirty butcher who handled a sick pig who was bitten by an infected bat in Hong Kong.  I immediately doused my entire life in hand sanitizer.  No really, we get those giant 80 gallon barrels of it from like Sam's Club or BJs.  Fine, it's 1 gallon and it was only enough to clean my hands 93 times.  We are out of bleach or else I would have used that next.
Naively, I believed the crisis to be averted, though narrowly.  But last night, Oscar was insistent on laying unusually and uncomfortably close to me.  And he would not budge.  I woke up this morning and he was on top of me.  At first, I believed the 60lbs of limp doodle weight upon my chest to be the source of my breathing difficulties.  No such luck.  I have a full blown Contagion-like illness for which there is surely no cure.  (Except for maybe more cowbell... but those are surprisingly hard to find in downtown Boston).
Nuggie has been in the bed with me during the past couple of nights as well.  I really thought it was because he was woozy from the Benedryl I gave him to ease the itchiness of his hot spots and that he just wanted his mommy.  Now I'm leaning more towards the idea that Oscar is recruiting new team members to be able to keep up with the demands of the epidemic that is about to occur.  Only time will tell, friends.  But don't say I didn't warn you!  Death Doodle is back on the prowl...


  1. Your wit never ceases to amaze me. Poor mamaDoodle. <3

  2. That Doodle is all about lovin. :)

  3. yikes! i am almost convinced! Warning: if there are any others in your bed tomorrow when you wake up (assuming you are actually getting any sleep), you might wantto consider calling Dr. House...just sayin'

    1. So if all the neighbor dogs start shackin' up here, I should worry?

  4. The good news is that if you survive you will have antibodies so that you can enjoy the post apocalyptic world in relative comfort.

    Mango Momma

  5. You know I'm missin' you guys here! Just sayin'!


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