I initially heard about the phenomenon of the death predicting cat on an episode of House. Death cat was able to sense the impending death of patients in the hospital. Upon Googling, I discovered there is an actual cat residing in a nursing home in Rhode Island who possesses this incredible power. Coincidentally, his name is Oscar.
On Friday afternoon, I began feeling a little under the weather. By Friday evening, I was sure I might actually be dying. Upon retreating to bed for the night, I found it somewhat odd that the doodle insisted on laying alongside me. Typically, he curls up in a ball at the end of the bed and strategically places himself across my feet so as to prevent any possibility I might be able to get up to use the bathroom during the night... or escape in case of a fire... or defend against 37 attacking ninjas. I digress. After a few dozen unsuccessful attempts to relocate him from his new sleeping position (he was stealing my covers!), I was sure his bizarre behavior held a deeper meaning. It was then that I remembered: death cat! I aborted any further attempt to decipher this unusual behavior and deduced this was the only possible explanation, given the critical condition of my health at the moment. Oscar is Death Doodle! Some may call to question the accuracy of his predictions due to the fact that I am alive enough to be writing this... and it is four days after the fact. But I assure you my condition has only worsened since Friday and until proven otherwise, I maintain that I am still actually dying.