Thursday, November 18, 2010

My 'Doodle, The Bra Bandit: A Conspiracy Theory

I have a sneaking suspicion that B is tired of seeing my clothes laying haphazardly about the house, rather than in the drawers or closet where they belong.  My conspiracy theory involves B, the 'doodle, and a little bit of bribery with milk bones over a long weekday afternoon while I was at work. 

Oscar has always sought out B's socks from a pile of laundry awaiting its turn in the washing machine.  And any dish towel within paw's reach, he also considers fair game.  Until this week, however, the 'doodle has never attempted to tote away any pieces of my wardrobe... but then there was the black bra incident on Tuesday night. 

Admittedly, I'm terrible about putting my clothes in the hamper or back on a hanger when I disrobe at the end of the workday.  Often times, there are any number of shoes, shirts, pants and unmentionables strewn across my bedroom and bathroom.  If you know me, I understand this is terribly shocking and hard to believe since no one has ever entered my apartment to find it anything less than perfectly spotless - even with two dogs living under the same roof.  So consider this my "skeleton" - during the work week, my place is a disaster!

Now back to the bra:  Suspiciously, Oscar singled out this one article of clothing from the mound I had piling up on the floor.  Oddly enough, he wanted to chew on it and he has never chewed anything that doesn't belong to him prior to this.  I repeatedly took it away from him... and coincidentally hid it in every possible place EXCEPT its rightful drawer.  He found it every time.  I even put it behind a pillow on my bed, under which he burrowed to find his prize.  I finally conceded defeat and put the bra in the hamper, which he has yet to figure out how to open.

Upon interrogation, B denies even knowing I own a black bra and swears he has no idea why the 'doodle is so dazzled by the article.  He also quickly changed the subject, so as to not further incriminate himself.  Unless the 'doodle has been paging through Victoria's Secret catalogs, I have serious doubt Oscar even realizes it's mine.  Through no confession of his own, I've concluded B had everything to do with this in order to encourage me to put my clothes away.  The poor 'doodle was merely his pawn.  It is my belief, though I have only circumstantial evidence, that B somehow tainted the black bra with the scent of milk bones, thus triggering Oscar's uncontrollable urge to chew.  Why else would the 'doodle be so successful at repeatedly finding the bra?  How dare he use my own dog against me!  And take advantage of the fact that Oscar is just a babe and knows not what he does?!

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