Dog Rules - the Doodle Version
- Always greet parents with uncontrollable tail wagging and wiggles and whip their legs with hyper tail repeatedly until bruised to your satisfaction.
- Ensure uncontrollable tail wagging and wiggles make it impossible for them to attach the leash to your collar.
- Pee yourself.
- Pace 57 circles around mom before you squat to poop; add 20 laps if it's below 30 degrees outside.
- Give your brother the stare-down before pouncing into high speed chase mode.
- Walk through every patch of mud you see before re-entering the house.
- Ensure all mud transfers from paws to carpet.
- Find a toy with stuffing and tear toy to shreds, leaving trails of said stuffing throughout house.
- Steal towels from the kitchen and happily place them at mom's feet no less than 23 times a day.
- Always interrupt a peacefully sleeping Nugget to instigate a loud, slobber-slinging wrestling match.
- If brother has a bone, bark loudly and incessantly until he attacks you
or dad puts the shock collar on you.
- When dad tries to boot you out of the bed, growl at him viciously and then position yourself on his back to sleep for the remainder of the night.
- When not allowed in the bed, whine incessantly for 4 hours and then alternate with glass-shattering howls until someone wakes up
and beats you with pillows.
- During neighborhood walks, always pick fights with bigger, meaner dogs... and then run like hell.
- Never allow mom or dad to sit on the couch and relax without you in their lap.
Yup, I'd say that about sums it up...