Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dog 'Tudes **Updated**

 As  you'll see in Exhibit A, I stepped out of the shower this morning to find a freshly squeezed turd in the hallway.  Prime Suspect:  Oscar.  How do I know?  It smelled like Oscar!  He was kind enough to "help" clean up his mess... by eating the other turds.  How do I know?  Because one turd couldn't alone produce the awful aroma that overcame me.  I think I'll pass on Oscar smooches tonite.

In addition to Oscar's rebellion on outside defecation, Nugget decided he just flat out didn't want to go outside or potty at all this morning.  Fine.  Hold it until the dog walker comes at 3.  I didn't have time to mess with him this morning because I had planned to stop at Chick-Fil-A for my free spicy chicken sandwich (which sucked by the way) before work.  If he chooses to forego our morning potty walk, I'm fine with it because I know he'd sooner explode than ever go in the house.  Really though, what's with the 'tudes this morning?

In Exhibit B, we have a right hand.  My right hand.  It is bruised.  (Really, it is just hard to tell in this photo).  Inquiring minds may want to know how exactly I acquired this injury or any of the other 17 bruises about my body...  I will tell you.  It involves: Oscar, me, Golden who teaches bad habits, leash, Oscar's teeth, teeth missed leash, teeth met hand.  Nugget has an obnoxious habit of celebrating a good poop by taking his leash in his teeth and jumping around like a jack@$$ until we're both tangled 36 different ways.    B hates when Nugget does this!   It used to be cute. But I have to be honest, it's not as cute with 90lbs of dog on the other end.  Now Oscar, being the impressionable young lad that he is, often mimics Nugg's behaviors.  And while most of Nugg's antics aren't terribly annoying, the leash biting I can do without.  Of course Oscar thinks this is a cool thing to do and often tries (and fails) to do the same.  Poor doodle is still so uncoordinated with his long legs... he's lucky he can walk and breathe at the same time.  So Monday when I got home from work, Nugget, Oscar and I celebrated our reunion (as we do every evening at 5:15) with some jumping around, dancing, barking and hugs before heading outside for "business".  Oscar really has a difficult time containing his excitement and his awkwardness makes it that much funnier.  But he tries.  And on this particular day, in trying to emulate Nugget's annoying habit, Oscar missed the leach completely and chomped down on my hand.  Hard!  I squealed and immediately closed by eyes because I was sure it was gushing blood and that I was ultimately going to have to have it amputated.  Fortunately, when I finally gained the courage to look, I realized that while it might be broken, there was not, in fact, gushing of any sort.  (Thank God!)  After I stopped seeing stars, I acknowledged it probably wasn't that bad but dang did it hurt!  We are going to begin some serious doodle discipline, now that he finally understands (selectively) the meaning of the word, "No!".  Wish us luck!

**I had a nagging feeling of guilt that I didn't make Nugget go out to potty before I left for work.  Granted, he would have been able to hold it until the dog walker arrived, but I'm a sucker and have a hard time enforcing consequences for actions - or in this case, lack thereof.  So I went home over lunch and sure 'nough, he really had to pee!  He peed for like 2 straight minutes... and he kept balance on 3 legs the entire time.  Impressive.

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